June 29, 2017

This title is the name of Babette Rothschild's book about the neuroscience underlying the two step reactivity process illustrated in Doin the Two Step Down in the Boiler Room.

In that blog Boris, our hero, starts out enraged at Billy. Is this a reflection of who he is,...

June 26, 2017

In Quiet Down & Tune In , I talked about two steps: 

1. When triggered, first go down to the "boiler room" to identify and regulate what's bugged you, then 

2. Determine how to respond. 

This inner two-step dance can produce transformational results. When a couple co...

June 22, 2017

"My 14 year old made me so mad. I told him once to stop shaving his underarms and he's done it again. And that's not all that pissed me off...." He wanted to know what could get through to his son.

You get the picture - this guy is anxious and irritable a lot. But he's...

June 19, 2017

This OpEd piece by a Claremont Graduate University professor made me stop and think about what I might be sacrificing in exchange for the instant access provided by Twitter, cell phones and other technology.​

June 19, 2017

"It's so hard!" Evelyn croaked in protest against yet one more responsibility piled onto her plate.

I felt bad too. Shouldn't a good therapist simply produce those "aha moments" that last a lifetime?

Well, no, that's not how it works, unfortunately.

Soon Evelyn recovere...

June 12, 2017

My blog, The Challenge to Mastery, contained the following quote:

Your thinking mind has much more control over your survival mind than you "think."

I promised today to spin this positively despite how challenging it seems to many.

How many times have you accomplished so...

June 8, 2017

Psychotherapy is not just about how you feel.

Relieving suffering is a major objective of course. It is also about a realistic search into who you are and want to be. It is about developing solutions and practicing them regularly in a safe environment.

My own therapy, a...

June 5, 2017

From prior blogs you were introduced to your defensive fight, flight, freeze, survival mind (May 24) and your CPU (central processing unit), or thinking mind (May 30).

The bad news is that we are masters at pretending that our thinking mind is good at managing our surv...

June 1, 2017

Oh? I only wish. Too often I sure don't feel that way. And sometimes when I do, it's because for a moment I felt good about letting so-and-so know how I felt about what they said.

Using the terms introduced in my May 30 blog, The Root of Most Difficulties in Relationshi...

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