Psychotherapy is not just about how you feel.
Relieving suffering is a major objective of course. It is also about a realistic search into who you are and want to be. It is about developing solutions and practicing them regularly in a safe environment.
My own therapy, a full life including marriage and parenting of two children, now ages sixteen and 10, plus extensive training and private practice, have built a strong foundation for today's practice.
I have evolved an approach that avoids judging and blaming. It combines compassion and truth-telling in an active collaboration with clients. They come to make sense of thinking, feeling and behaving in ways that resulted in suffering, of themselves and often, their mates. Clients learn about reactive experiences that aren't an authentic expression of who they are.
They learn how to regulate their body-mind systems to manage reactivity and relieve suffering.
They learn to read themselves and their mates and then employ communication and other skills to avoid conflict or distancing and instead, foster compassion and understanding.
They access wisdom they never knew they had.
Soon enough they notice how much better the results are than when they forget and return to old patterns. The empowerment involved affords many opportunities to pause and reflect with gratitude on the hard work they did to retrieve their authentic selves.
Here's the good news:
You and/or your mate could be the next to achieve the same powerful solutions in your life and relationships.