A Losing Strategy Everyone Should Avoid

"It's so hard!" Evelyn croaked in protest against yet one more responsibility piled onto her plate.

I felt bad too. Shouldn't a good therapist simply produce those "aha moments" that last a lifetime?

Well, no, that's not how it works, unfortunately.

Soon Evelyn recovered and said, with a very slight chuckle, "All right, what do I have to do now?"

"Go down into the boiler room and read the gauges," I ordered.

"What the hell are you talking about?" she retorted.

Obviously she hadn't read my blog Keeping the Faith. There she would have been introduced to EQ - Emotional Quotient - and the ability to troll inwardly to determine what's driving you and decide what to do about it.

Thinking about what I'm writing now has touched me a little differently than usual. I've explained this hundreds of times but this time I'm thinking, "How must a client feel to be told the obvious? Namely, that in order to know what to do about something, you need to gather information, then evaluate what's important to consider in deciding what to do."

Only this is different. But why?

Because unless you slow down enough to take seriously the need to read those gauges carefully, you - like most of us - will latch onto the very first notion you have about what the gauges say and behave accordingly.

In street terms:

We tend to feel, think, then behave reactively.

That's a sure-fire losing strategy.

More about EQ and how to stop reactivity on Thursday!

#reactivity #reacting #behavior #responsemechanisms #eq #emotionalquotient #relationships #boilerroom #therapy #lifeadvice #therapist

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