Doin the Two Step Down In the Boiler Room
In Quiet Down & Tune In , I talked about two steps:
1. When triggered, first go down to the "boiler room" to identify and regulate what's bugged you, then
2. Determine how to respond.
This inner two-step dance can produce transformational results. When a couple collaborates on the Two-Step, it's beautiful to watch.
Something like this 2-Step !
(More on how all this works with couples in the future.)
Boris, my client in Quiet Down & Tune In, angrily went after Billy, his teenage son, for shaving his underarms: He came, he saw, he reacted - instantly, impulsively, reflexively, impetuously; you get it right?
The blog tells how attending to his reactivity first, before addressing Billy, would have produced an entirely different behavior and result.
Nothing I've discussed previously or anything to come is more important than this principle. Nor might there be anything harder in life than to put this principle into regular practice.
Yes, it's hard, but what else is new about how fulfillment in life is pursued!
It's hard: but you can do it!
Pardon me again for belaboring this point but the more you can tolerate hearing it repeated, the greater the chance that you'll stretch to follow future blogs not only to deepen your appreciation of this way of thinking but increase your motivation to do the practicing that's indispensable to progress.
In my next blog, The Body Remembers, I'll explain how our body/mind survival systems experience, process and react to stressors like Boris confronted. Maybe for the first time you'll see how unlikely it is that we will behave well unless we take the Two Step seriously and work it daily!
Please stay tuned to develop and make sense of the big picture I'm weaving with these threads.