This title is the name of Babette Rothschild's book about the neuroscience underlying the two step reactivity process illustrated in Doin the Two Step Down in the Boiler Room.
In that blog Boris, our hero, starts out enraged at Billy. Is this a reflection of who he is, or is this his survival mind defending him against an imagined threat to his security?
Answer - See Doin the Two Step....
In session, by putting everything else aside, including his anger, and meditating despite his distaste for it, Boris quieted the strident call of his survival mind to fight (versus flee, freeze or appease). He regulated his nervous system, a feat that until then he couldn't have imagined he was capable of.
One of the most powerful products of that effort was to restore access to his right (thinking) mind. When the survival mind is running the show, the thinking mind becomes a soldier dedicated to whatever behavior seems necessary to restore security.
For Boris, that was yelling at Billy. Back in his right mind, Boris realized there was no enemy to fight; Billy's behavior was the usual teenage experimentation. Not a big deal.
The quote below is a wonderful conclusion for us to take from understanding something about the neuroscience that drives our minds:
“The soul may be a mere pretense, the mind makes very little sense, so let us value the appeal of that which we can taste and feel.” ---Piet Hein
(Babette Rothschild’s quote in The Body Remembers, Chapter 6, page 148, German edition)
Next week, let's begin looking at how all this plays out in intimate relationships. If freedom is the theme of Independence Day, then couples supporting each other in regulating their survival minds can liberate them from the crippling relational dances that take down so many couples.