Discovering one's "voice" is one of the most exciting developments of a lifetime and I've found mine. Knowing one's voice is a little like identifying porn. As former Supreme Court justice Potter Stewart famously said about porn, "I know it when I see it."
My blogging is imbued with my voice and if you've been following, what's distinctive about it may have emerged. Sometimes it will resonate with you in a way that will click. Let me know if so. Other times it may not, and at still other times, what I say may not be clear or may prompt questions or concerns. Regardless, let me know about that too. Your feedback can only deepen the process since the importance of relationships is at the heart of my life and practice.
Here's a sample of my voice: Are you a texter or a poet? Lori Anne Ferrell, a Claremont Graduate University humanities professor, tells a wonderful story about the power of poetry which has so much to do with how I do therapy. It is about a former student who teaches poetry by first asking students what the point of the poem is, as if that's a simple question, then how the poem makes that point. Can you imagine a conversation like that via text?
Working with a couple, I might teach one to ask the other what point he/she is trying to make then how he/she thinks it is being taken by the other. A simple example: She is expressing frustration over interactions with colleagues at work. Soon he interrupts to say, "How about telling your colleague such and such," in reaction to which she feels treated like an infant and either gets angry or shuts down.
I'll try to empower her instead to ask him what point is he trying to make and then how does he expect her to take it. As he responds by saying he was only trying to suggest what she should do, it might become obvious that simply listening with compassion or empathy would have been a far better choice.
I hope you will continue to check out my voice as we go along.